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If we wish to change the person we find ourselves to be, we must change our thinking.
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June 29th, 2018
This episode references Episode 24: Hope Grows Foolish with No Doing. If you’d like to fully understand the reference, please check out that episode first.
Those who ‘have a plan’ may project more authority, appearing to have more determination. Their certainty is intoxicating. These people have no need to predict the future, they make the future. In this sense, ‘the plan’ is very close to an expectation. And expecting the future to be a certain way is far different than making the future. The hubris surrounding such language is apt to be it’s own demise.
Those who HOPE for certain things to work out, may appear weaker. As though they have less will, determination and appear to regard themselves as more victim of the whims of fate. They are more ‘realistic’, more ‘down to earth’. Maybe even jaded with a shade of defeat. Not surprised when things don’t go their way. Fuel for an undercurrent of cynicism? Perhaps. The hopeful person can certainly be in one breath both the positive and waiting for life to prove them wrong yet once again. Proving their secret cynicism is justified…
Where is the middle ground between these two less-than-ideal perspectives?
The first tends to ignore the concept of disappointment all together – very dangerous. The second is bracing for impact, and in so doing, almost expects the disappointment. This can easily be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get what you concentrate on.
This is not to say that it's bad to have a plan and hope for the best, but there is a flaw in both strategies. It becomes obvious by their relationship to disappointment. They are both coping mechanism for a fear of disappointment. The first ignores it. The second is already partly convinced it’s going to happen.
The middle ground is not another coping mechanism.
The better path is to chop at the root of the problem instead of hacking at the leaves.
The opposite of fear is curiosity.
The space between?
Given any task or goal, you’re perspective on it’s outcome falls somewhere on that spectrum: fear – indifference – curiosity.
Much fear is paraded around as positive action and certainty about the future.
Curiosity is simply a strong desire to know and learn.
This has nothing to do with hoping or expecting the future to be a certain way.
Might it be a better way to look at the things we undertake?
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