COFFEE AND GENIES

November 22nd, 2018

Anyone who is presented with a question such as “would you like it if you were a more effective communicator?” would answer in the affirmative.

And yet, just as with much human behavior, our words do not reflect our actions and efforts.   We clearly do not act in our best interest during a vast amount of the time we have the opportunity to do so.

Where is the disconnect? 

One way of looking at this may be that such people who claim to desire progress forward don’t realize that they are currently moving backward. And that all previous attempts to make progress have been a step forward while failing to realize that such a step was made while moving backwards at a much faster rate.

Visually, this is like taking a step north while on a train that is speeding south, and not realizing one is on such a train. Becoming frustrated when the realization that indeed no progress north has been made has to do with a lack of perspective, it would not be a genuine assessment of effort, because a step north was indeed made. 

If one fails to realize the reality of the train, all such small and inconsistent attempts at progress will contribute to the phenomenon known as ‘Learned Helplessness’.  In this visual analogy it’s one thing to try and take a step north.  It’s quite another to see the train by zooming out, figure out how to slow it down, then turn it around and get it going again in the right direction. 

There is a vast difference between wanting to change and figuring out how to change. 

The decision is clearly not at all like the decision to pick up a cup of coffee and take a sip.  We think such an act and our arm and hand act accordingly with the quickest and most elusive of mental twitches.  But to become a better communicator?  The decision is not succeeded by some quick mental twitch that makes it so. 

It’s curious to wonder if the mythology of the Genie was created out of the confusion this disconnect creates. 

The brain figures out very early that it can achieve a high degree of control over it’s immediate surroundings by using the hands to move things, and the feet to carry the body around, and these changes are nearly instantaneous.  Want coffee?  The mug is at your lips before we even realize we were thinking about wanting coffee.

The mental distance of such an action and the actual time between such decisions and their successful execution are infinitesimally miniscule.  Whereas the mental distance and actual time between the decision to become wealthy or become a better communicator, and the successful execution of such a decision is truly gargantuan, and in most cases a few failed attempts can create emotions that make this distance infinite. 

The quantum leap from understanding reality on the first task (taking a sip of coffee) to understanding reality on the second task (becoming wealthy or becoming a better communicator) is so perplexing and taxing that it might have given rise to an imaginary form of reality where there is no gargantuan distance between such decisions and tasks, that no quantum leap is required.  Such an imaginary form of reality where the decision to pick up a cup of coffee and its execution is equivalent in terms of time and effort to the decision to be wealthy or becoming a better communicator.  We are all acquainted with this reality because we can imagine alternative versions of our past and present and we can project desirable versions of the future in our mind’s eye.  This is how we achieve progress: by imagining something better and working towards it.  But we can become more focused on this succulent vision than reality itself, which in turn may undermine our efforts to achieve this vision since we spend so much time away from reality.

It is perhaps even more interesting considering Julian Jaynes theory of the Bicameral Mind, which wonders if the origin of God and gods is that people assumed the voice they heard in their head was such a god, and they as mere mortals existed to listen.  Oh the irony.

Indeed every day people ask their own variety of genie for things they can’t get as easily as a sip of coffee, whether it be wealth, or a better body or the ideal spouse.   Case and point: no one with functioning arms and a mouth and a cup of coffee prays for a sip of coffee.  .  . they just take the damn sip of coffee. 

But wealth, health and happiness?  The distance between wishing for these things and achieving these things seems supernaturally vast. 

Hence, the deployment of supernatural tactics. 

And yet few would disagree that a better, more accurate interpretation of reality can lead to better informed actions that one may take, which in turn raises the probability of achieving one’s goals. 

More thinking and –particularly- DOING  is usually what is needed.

Not daydreaming.

Actionable thoughts that can manipulate our physical reality.

The time and resources to clearly think through new strategies is often very difficult to come by, never mind the time and resources to implement all these new thoughts but such is part of the difficulty that creates that vast space between taking a sip of coffee and inventing the concept of a Genie.

WILL IT

November 21st, 2018

Occasionally, during particularly dramatic parts of movies, or even books, we will witness a character who is so full of confidence, and often anger, and self-assured ability, they will declare some kind of divine influence over events.  They’ll say something ridiculous like,

“I will it to happen.”

As though they are endowed with such an intimate tie to the core of reality that their mere thoughts seem to have an effect on the way things go.

Of course, the word ‘will’ as discussed in a previous episode of Tinkered Thinking, Episode 184, entitled ‘Will Power’, will derives from a much less impressive sounding word.  Will comes from wish.

Imagine for a moment swapping out that powerful-sounding line ‘I will it’, with  I wish.

Generally, when we say, ‘I wish’, is when we are being pessimistically facetious about something we’d love to see happen but feel certain will never materialize.

The attitudes of each situation match the connotations perfectly, and yet – etymologically speaking – both words derive from the same meaning.

What else might we say about these two diametrically opposed attitudes?  The first one who is full of fire in the movies, gritting teeth and saying “I will it to happen!”.  Would we call such a posture… lazy?

Certainly not.  Such a person is practically on fire with drive, while the person who swings a limp hand at the non-possibility of some better reality and says “I wish”…. how would we characterize such a person?  Would we say that such an attitude has the same amount of drive as the first?  Certainly not.  The second is an attitude marked my stagnation.

There’s simply no forward momentum with such a person, just a sense of being dragged through time.

These two attitudes or postures towards the things we can dream up indicate how we view the source of change for reality.  One of them is external, meaning, when we merely wish for something to happen, we expect it to happen for us.  But when we will something into existence.  That posture is placing the responsibility square on our own shoulders to figure out how to make it happen.

Instead of making a wish and tossing a coin into a fountain, we’d do best to realize there are two sides to the coin we wish upon.  We can have a nice thought about a possible future and toss that possibility to the whims of fate as we toss a coin into that fountain.  Or we can flip that coin, and realize there is another way to wish.  We can will something into existence.

But the posture here is different.  There is no leaving things to the whims of fate.  There is drive, there is determination, there is energy, all of which contribute to our ability to work towards something.

We can realize that we do not simply will things into existence like some magical genie.

We will things into existence by working them into existence.  By working with reality, pulling the levers of reality, rearranging it’s parts, sculpting them, deconstructing them, repairing them, until what we had the will and wish to see happen, is done.

This episode references Episode 184: Will Power.

NEVER LOST

November 20th, 2018

What separates those who are driven from those who feel lost?  Very few people haven’t felt lost at some point in their lives, and so this end of the spectrum is perhaps an easier one to start at, not to mention the fact no one is looking for this end as a destination.  Driven individuals are generally not looking to feel lost in life. 

Someone who feels lost, however, might latch on to some of the quaint aphorisms that float around in culture, such as:

All those who wander are not lost.

It’s the journey not the destination that counts.

A person who generally feels lost might feel momentary comfort in such phrases, feeling comfort in redefining the situation as a wandering journey.

Of course, in order to wander and be on a journey, one generally has to move.  And going to and from work everyday does not necessarily cut the cake here, nor does merely existing through time.

The feeling of being lost is not really being clueless about what destination to shoot for, it’s the feeling of stagnation.  It’s the feeling of standing still and not moving in any direction at all.  This might be at the core of the concept of FOMO, the acronym for ‘fear of missing out’.  Those who are too involved in what they are doing or exploring, don’t really have the mental space to concentrate on what they might be missing out on.   Standing still and doing nothing, however, or lacking concentration and attention on what is going on in the moment gives rise to the space and mental stagnation necessary for thoughts of FOMO to intervene.

Driven people have a hypothesis about the near future, and they are hunting around in order to find out if reality will prove their hypothesis right or wrong.  An important distinction, however, is that if reality pokes back in a way that seems to indicate that a hypothesis is wrong, a driven individual will not necessarily give up, but probe reality further, taking feedback from reality as an indication to pivot and try a different strategy in order to test the hypothesis.  If you erase the concept of ‘hypothesis’ from this situation and merely look at the behavior of such a person without their goal in mind...  It simply looks like they are wandering.  You might even say they look lost.

We can switch tracks and imagine being on a trail through the woods.  Many people who actually get lost in the woods are rarely very far from the trail they are seeking, and unfortunately many perish this way.

We can imagine ourselves in such a situation.  Feeling overwhelmed, afraid to move because we might become more lost and more separated from the path we wish we were on.  Where lies the first step in this situation?

Organization is the key.

Even with no equipment, we could begin by walking in a straight line and breaking branches on trees as we walk.  We might even be thoughtful enough to make this line extend from the direction where the sun rises to where the sun sets, thereby establishing a rough east/west axis.  Even without the sun this exercise creates orientation out of nowhere.  It might not be orientation relative to where we’d like to be, but it orients ourselves relative to where we have been.  We might even use such branches to create letters and numbers on the ground next to a tree and slowly build a grid system.  By doing so, we can slowly expand the part of the environment that we have organized and mapped.  We can do this continuously until our organized system grows to touch some other familiar organization, like a trail, and then boom, we’ve found where we were hoping to go.

A driven individual is simply attempting to wander in an organized way.  Ensuring that the same mistake isn’t made, i.e. blindly taking the same path to nowhere productive

Our ability to plan what will happen tomorrow is relegated to a very small pixel of the universe.  But relative to ourselves and the portion of reality that we get to wander around in, it’s everything, and our ability to wander productively ultimately is the biggest factor in determining just how much success we are likely to encounter.

This episode references Episode 72: Persevere vs. Pivot, Episode 165: Set Sail, and Episode 57: Compass.

STAR GAZING

November 19th, 2018

If we close our eyes for a moment and concentrate on the sensations of the hand, we can probably discern the sensations of the separate fingers, the thumb as separate from the ring finger, but if we concentrate on the hand generally, it’s not too difficult for the whole sensation of the hand to dissolve into a cloud of feeling. 

We can do this with the whole body.  Perhaps there’s a particularly bright discomfort in the back from sitting or standing too long, or a recent paper cut or stubbed toe is lighting up.  Again, as with the hand, if we try to focus on the entire sensation of the body, it’s not difficult for the whole light show to resolve into cloud.

From the standpoint of neurobiology, we can define different sensing mechanisms that are responsible for this.  In the skin, for instance, there are tiny little cells, like mechanical gadgets in some cases that are responsible for a feeling of pressure against the skin, or stretching, or even heat.  The presence of any of phenomena trigger these cells that then fire off signals to the brain to indicate what is going on.  Even when nothing in particular seems to be going on, such mechanisms are still firing and communicating with the brain.

An interesting aspect of this whole system is that it is not evenly distributed.  We do not have nearly as many of these sensing cells in the skin of the thigh as we do in our hands.  We can experience this directly when we close our eyes and concentrate on the sensations we are feeling.  The hands seem to be far more active and dense than the thighs, and yet the hands are much smaller.

One benefit of exploring in this exercise is simply to notice how arbitrary the naming of certain things can be.  The word ‘finger’ is of little consequence to an infant who has just figured out how to use such a limb effectively.

All of this has much in common with star gazing.

Since we have had eyes that can look up, we have been seeing a giant cloud of tiny lights up in the clear skies.

And yet, no matter the culture nor place on earth, we have, without knowing what those lights are, ascribed all sorts of shapes and stories to the stars.

The stars did not decide on the constellations, we did.  And their connection and relation is completely arbitrary. 

And yet.

We can get lost in an idea of some thing’s identity and lose touch with it’s nature in terms of basic reality.  This is akin to being obsessed about the constellation and completely forgetting about the stars.

Imagine for a moment zooming through the cosmos to some other neighboring solar system and gazing at the same stars that make up our constellations here on earth.  Depending on exactly where we zoom off to, it is possible to see the exact same stars.  We would be observing the same part of reality.  And yet, would we be able to pick out the same constellations?  Not at all.  The identity of a constellation is directly related to our perspective and the angle and position of that perspective.

Positioning here, is essential.

Juxtapose for a moment these two situations:

Two people on some news show talking about politics.  They awkwardly attempt to talk towards each other while still facing the camera. 

And this situation.

Someone trying to point out a star to a friend.  Such a person brings a friend in close, their faces next to each other in an attempt to try and have that friend occupy the same space.  Such a person will probably even move a little, so the friend can occupy the exact place they were, and then recalibrate how they are pointing at the sky to account for the shift in position.

Notice the ways in which the second situation is full of generosity.  The friend is willing to change position, to come closer to the physical perspective in order to see and understand.  And the friend trying to point out that star is willing to give up their own position somewhat in order to make room.  Both are willing to get closer to one another.

It’s often pointed out that people are easily brought together when they have a common enemy.  They give up facing off at one another in order to stand next to one another in the face of an enemy.

But what this often reiterated strategy of bringing people together really describes is a change in positioning.  An enemy is not necessarily required, just some common object of focus.

We can go back to the exercise at the beginning, close our eyes, concentrate on the cloud of sensation that we ascribe to our hand, and then simply rotate our hand.  Our relationship to what we think of as ‘hand’ has changed a little bit, we feel it a bit differently, but this does not really change the hand at all, just our relationship to it.  In this case, the constellation disappears, but it’s still the same stars.

Whatever constellation we wish to ascribe to the new relationship is still arbitrary.  Concentrating on the constellation more than the basic reality of seeing stars, is the trap of identity.

This episode references Episode 157: Conquer or Concur?, and Episode 17: The Identity Danger.

A LUCILIUS PARABLE: OBSTACLE HUNTER

November 18th, 2018

When Lucilius was middle aged he came to the realization that he had lost something integral to what it means to be alive.  This realization had snuck up on him gradually and when he fully realized what sort of thought had been creeping up on him, he stopped doing everything he had going on and walked to a park every morning and spent the days contemplating what exactly it was that he had lost.

After several days he felt as though he was circling the answer and getting ever closer.  And just as he felt as though the words to perfectly describe the object of his search were bubbling up in his mind, a small dust devil gathered in the park and stirred the autumn leaves into a small whirlwind.   He watched the leaves rise and then tighten into the circular column of wind.  He followed the narrowing width of the column down to the bottom and noticed that not a single leaf occupied that bottom spot on the ground where one could imagine it being torn apart.  The leaves simply rustled in a tighter circle, tumbling around on the ground.

Lucilius realized in that moment that he had likewise been circling with his thoughts and as close he might get, he was never going to get at the center of it.  The whirlwind he was watching slowly dissipated, dropping leaves as it lost power.

Lucilius decided to approach what was going on from a different angle.  Instead of trying to think his way to some sort of solution that he imagined might exist, he decided to recreate his youth, and instantly dreams of a big adventure across many lands popped into his mind.  But just as quickly, the idea lost it’s luster.  Would such an adventure just be a distraction he wondered?  He thought about the adventures he’d had throughout his life and asked himself if there was some sort of thread that ran through them, binding them together in their combined usefulness.  It was not the epic landscapes, nor the foreign food, nor sounds of different places, not necessarily even the people, though these are all touted as such important aspects of such adventures.  Lucilius did not deny them their value, but there was something else, more elemental that he was looking for, the thread that has come lose and pulled smoothly from who he now found he was.

A young mother, tired and moving slow followed as her toddler doddled out into the grassy park stippled with rusted leaves.  The child tripped, fell and paused, contemplating what had happened before scrunching face and letting out a howl.  The mother, who had just sat on a bench let her face momentarily fall into her hand so she could rub her eyes before she got up and walked over to the child.   

Lucilius got up and walked away.  The next day he boarded a plane and flew to an arid part of the world.  On the edge of a vast desert, he purchased a truck.  It took some strange negotiating, but he made sure that he was sold a truck with many issues.  He drove the truck to a local hardware store and bought some jugs of water and a completely random assortment of tools, paying no mind to the sort that might be needed by such a problem truck.

And then he drove off into the evening desert.  It wasn’t two hours into the hottest part of the next day when the truck broke down.

Lucilius got out and looked around.  There was nothing in sight save for magnificent plateaus standing like lone bricks taken from the sky.  There was no help and Lucilius had brought no way to communicate with anyone else.

With sweat running down his face, he unloaded his box of tools and popped the hood.  He looked at the dizzying complexity of the mechanics in front of him and felt a sense of panic overwhelm him with anxiety.

He looked around again at the empty vastness and then remembered why he’d come to this place.  Astonished that he’s nearly completely forgot, he burst out laughing, alone in the middle of nowhere.  He smiled, wondering how he might get out of this mess, and opened the box of tools.  He pulled out a gardening shovel and laughed again, remembering how mindlessly he had tossed things into the shopping cart.

With sun and wide sky above him, he took in the hot air and smiled. 

“Well old boy,” he said.  “You got yourself in this mess, you can get yourself out, so let’s figure out how you’re gonna do it.”

Lucilius got to work, slowly guiding the lost thread back.