PILOT HOLE

October 10th, 2018

In woodworking a hole is drilled in order to ensure a screw will follow a preferred path and to ensure the wood does not split.  The chances that the screw will veer off in an unintended direction are virtually zero.  A path has been cleared for it, and as with most things, the path of least resistance wins.

We might benefit from wondering what sort of pilot holes we can predrill for endeavors and habits we wish to have bolted into our lives and history.

Say someone wants to start a business.  Is there an opportunity for a pilot hole in this situation.  Can a smaller, much easier business be started in anticipation of a larger more complex project?

Can we drill pilot holes for habits?  Essentially we are looking to see if we can make the situation ripe for a habit to flourish in the right direction so that we can intentionally build our life by combining elements mindfully and strategically.

Being woken up early in the morning by the activities of others in the household, for example, does not necessarily create a ripe situation for developing a meditation habit if compared to a dedicated effort to wake up twenty minutes before everyone else.

Most people view the creation and maintenance of new good habits as a function of willpower and the necessary amount required for achievement.  But we perhaps expect too much from ourselves.  We adore the easier, faster way anyhow, so why not give some thought to how we might make a new good habit easy and more conducive? 

It’s hard to eat poorly if there is only good food in the house.  Which means it’s easy to eat healthy food

It’s hard not to go for a run if you’re late for work and purposely parked the car 10 blocks away from the house, which means not just easy, but necessary to go for a run right before work.

Imagine for example the late night shift worker who is forced to sleep late into the day.  Such an individual could bemoan the trial of poor sleep, or such a person could install black-out curtains and make the environment more conducive to their situation in life.  Sleeping through the bright environment of morning and midday is not a matter of having more willpower or not, it’s a matter of environmental circumstance.   It’s obvious in the case of someone sleeping because volitional will is not even an option in such a unconscious state.  And yet when it comes to other things that require our active participation, we toss aside the potential affects of environmental factors in favor of a perspective focused narrowly on willpower.

We might benefit from asking what sort of pilot holes we can drill into our lives to make the environment we live in more hospitable to the changes we’d like to make.

MANIFEST EXAMPLE

October 9th, 2018

Imagine for a moment that you’ve been abducted by aliens.  Silly, fantastical, but just for a moment, imagine it.  You’ve been beamed aboard the mothership and find yourself within a small chamber and after some time it’s clear that you are not harmed and there is no intention to harm you.

Say these aliens have decoded your language, and they simply want to talk to you.

Let’s say they ask the simple question: What is your world like?

Take a moment to imagine what you would say.

What kind of portrait would you paint of the human race?

Is it all gloom and doom?  Would you say that you come from a people that is hell bent on destruction, that ruins it’s environment and cares little for the needy, sick and poor?  A species that only thinks of it’s individual self, and never sees the larger picture?

How would your listeners think of you if this was your answer?  Would your panel of observers think they’d stumbled onto the only clear headed member of the species?

Or is such a description not just a perspective of what’s going on with our planet, but also a glimpse into the perspective of the person who chooses to portray things in this way?

To criticize the rest of the human race as selfish and uncaring is in itself a selfish and uncaring act.  Not only does it ignore the rapid progress we have made with regards to improving our general condition, but it is selfish in that the speaker plays the victim card.  Such an individual speaks from a place of false innocence.  Such a speaker is a part of the poor picture they paint, though they might think they are separate, above, and better.

Or would you say something different.  Would you perhaps say that despite our misteps, mistakes and troubles, we get back up, again and again and try to see our old and present mistakes in ever clearer light, though it is difficult for us, and then once we’ve realized our mistake fully, we try, however feebly to fix what we have done.

Could it be that a fair and comprehensive picture of our chaotic world and the people we’ve become is simply not possible.  Might some of us claim an inability to accurately fulfill such an impossible task as describing who we are and what we strive to do.  How would such humility play upon our observers. 

No matter what we might say, we must remember that we as a speaker and a doer are not separate from our manner of communication nor our style of action, and both say a tremendous amount about who we are as individuals, and by proxy, what it means to be human, even if we as individuals only comprise a tiny tiny minority of our whole people.

We cannot simply describe.  We are, even in the role of reporter, an example of our own species.  And we need not be abducted by curious aliens to be thrust into such a role.  We live it every single day.  With every single thing we say, do and think, we are an example of what it means to be human.

What kind of example are you?

KEEPING TALLY

October 8th, 2018

In a game of soccer or hockey, keeping tally is very important.  Relative to other sports, very few points are scored, so each point means a whole lot, whereas basketball games have the potential to finish with a difference of points in the dozens.

In sports, the matter of keeping tally is the end-all purpose of the game.  It is a means for ratcheting up the type of games we will see.  Keeping tally ensures – in theory – that we will see games of increasing skill on each side, and the hope and thinking behind this is that the game played will be of a higher caliber, a more rare variety, something special and unique.

The habit of keeping tally with numerical items often bleeds into places where it does damage.  The bill between friends at a restaurant, for instance.  This situation goes one of three ways.

Two friends might pay only for what each precisely had.

Or they might split the whole bill 50/50.

Or one of these friends will grab the bill and say, I got it this time.  With the tacit implication that the next time time is spent together, the favor will be returned.

These three possibilities show an increasing amount of leniency with regards to the details.  And from a business standpoint, this might seem unwise.  A penny saved is a penny earned, which means that a penny needlessly spent is double the loss it would be if saved.  But to look at friendships, or any close relationship as a kind of business transaction or business relationship is a mistake.    For the simple reason that there is an important factor at play beyond the pedantic ritual of keeping tally.  Cushy words like ‘love’ and ‘generosity’ aside, we must examine the reason why relationships beyond blood exist.  Friendships in particular are of greatest help to elucidate why keeping a strict tally is such bad practice.  Any friendship based solely on the specifics of what one has done for the other and the equivalence of those two set of acts is far more fragile than one that is not concerned with such.  Friendship that permits a much wider berth when balancing the checkbook of back scratches shows a much lager implicit value judgment that extends and includes things beyond the acts that can be easily monetized or numerically valued.  Such a circumstance between friends indicates a wider perspective.  Each person in such a friendship sees the other in a way that is greater than the sum of parts that can be seen ‘on paper’.    While this is obvious between good friends who are willing to give far more than they might expect in return, it would be a wise perspective to take on all human beings, friends and strangers alike.  The reason being that we cannot predict with absolute fidelity how someone will act or what they will become given a new circumstance.  While history is generally a good indication of how someone will act in the future, this is a general indication, and not an absolute one, which means while probabilities are high that someone won’t change, we cannot ignore the real possibility that a chance has the potential to lead to something new.  The flip side to remember is that no chance creates an  absolute probability: a probability of zero that something new will happen.  Generosity beyond the equal tally creates the opportunity for a non-zero probability that something new will happen. 

We might think of VC’s giving loads of capital to a small group of individuals with a new idea.  It might not pan out.  In fact, it probably won’t pan out, but the VC realizes that without a large initial act of generosity, some ideas have an absolute probability of zero when it comes to chances of materializing in reality.

Such is the perspective of loving friends with one another.  The potential absolute value of another person is frankly unknowable, and a real friend intuits this in practice.

What is that phrase about loving unconditionally?  The result of such unconditional tethers is never explicitly talked about.  For good reason: it is unpredictable, and unquantifiable. 

Many stories of karma elucidate this point: how a tiny gesture of kindness on one person’s part ends up saving their life when circumstances are flipped to a hyperbolic degree.

Whether it be karma or the strategy of Venture Capitalists or a bill unsplit between friends at a bar, the whole concept of keeping a tally usually undermines our long-term hopes for the way we function in the world, which is almost exclusively through our relationships to others.  That being said,

It’s best to throw away the scoreboard.  We must still be mindful of leeches that want to simply take advantage of us, but realizing such does take time, and may result in lost resources, but in the long run it’s best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt longer than feels comfortable.  Simply put, none of us know what kind of long-term investment we might be making.

A LUCILIUS PARABLE: NIBBLE

October 7th, 2018

When Lucilius was young and full of restless wander, he set off on a great journey.  With a pack of essentials, a few beloved books for study, and good weather, he set off.

He was not far from the town he had left when a terrible odor wrapped about him, choking him of air.  The sky was clear, but the air was still.  And in that stillness, something had flooded.  He walked on, a scarf over his mouth, and then finally he came upon the cause.

A deer, some time dead was a few feet from the path.  There being few predators in these parts, it was being claimed by thousands of insects. 

Lucilius watched for a moment, forgetful of the awful stench, entranced by the awesome sight of nature. 

Each tiny creature was carrying off a piece of the animal so small it was unseeable.  And yet the carcass was clearly wasting away. 

Lucilius watched the spectacle until the stench was too much and then he carried on.

Several days later, Lucilius was aching from the days of walking.  The pack felt as though it had become heavier and he was beginning to wonder what he was doing.

It was then the weather started to turn.

First the skies darkened.  Then the rains came.  And Lucilius was soon walking wet and cold.

The rains did not let up and several days later, Lucilius felt frail under the constant taps of cold drops, his clothes soaked with weight, his pack and books drenched.

Lucilius stopped in the trail, and he was blessed with a clear moment of thought.

He asked his shivering body if it was really so cold.  And though it was unpleasant, he began to suspect that his mind was making it out to be worse than it really was.

He wondered how this could have happened.  No great misfortune had befallen him.  His clothes would eventually dry, and so would his books.  His skin and body would not suffer as they might under a grueling desert sun.  But how could his mind turn on him like this and make things worse.

At that moment a single drop of rain landed on his nose and made his eyes clapped shut. 

A single drop.

Lucilius wondered how many drops must have found him in the last few days.  He had felt each one, and carried most of them until they drenched down his clothes and body.

Each one had taken a small toll.

Or rather, he had allowed each drop to take a toll on him.

It was then he remembered the deer, being slowly eaten, and smiled. 

Lucilius walked on, untroubled by the rain.

Years later, after many adventures, and much contemplation, Lucilius finds himself often sought for counsel. A young man approaches him, full from a feast.  Well acquainted with Lucilius, he tosses himself down next to the wise man and belches.

“Lucilius, I am so very full.  I feel like I might pop.”

“I do hope you’ll keep from popping my good friend.”

“We shall see, but in the meantime, I need your advice:  I have been tasked with a huge endeavor.  It is so large I have no idea how I might accomplish such a feat.  How does one do anything so tremendous?”

“Blinders,” says Lucilius.

“Blinders? Like on a horse?”

“Yes.”

“Lucilius, you are like a wise elder, but sometimes you say such strange things.  How might blinders help me with my big task.”

“You see too much.  Just as your eyes were bigger than your stomach at the feast today.  You have eaten yourself silly, and now you can only lay useless while you recover.”

“I see too much? I eat too much?  How does this help me, you strange old hermit?”

Lucilius remembers the deer and the rain from years ago, and smiling, continues, “If you face something larger than yourself, you cannot unhinge your jaw and consume it whole, like some great snake.”

The young man looks disapprovingly at Lucilius, then regards his taut belly with comforting hands as Lucilius continues,

“You must take your time, my friend.  You must nibble.”

SANDCASTLES IN THE SURF

October 6th, 2018

What percentage of thoughts during any given day are actually useful and lead to positive action?  While this is certainly an impossible number to ascertain, we can make a reliable estimation of which way the scale tips.  Most likely most thoughts are useless.

And what are these thoughts that we find the majority of our day lost in centering around?  Do they center on the present?  Unless we spend the majority of the day performing brain surgery, chances are good that the majority of our days is not spent centered on the present.  This leaves either the future or the past to think about.  With either, there are only two general dispositions that we can take.  Either we are yearning for or resisting.  We might yearn for a better future that is better than both our past and our present, or we can dread the future, and simultaneously yearn for some kind of nostalgic past.  Likewise, we can dread the past, obsessing in a circular rut about some embarrassing instance.  We can even dread both in flip-flop fashion.  Disliking where we’ve come from, where we’ve gone and feeling pessimistic about what tomorrow might bring.

Spending more than a little time in any of these islands of thought do little to no good.  Regardless of how much we wax poetic about some wonderful past or wan over some idealized future, we get to experience neither.  The present is all that is ever available to us.

It is all too easy to imagine someone with comfortable resources being miserable on some island vacation get-away.  When we juxtapose this with a group of barefoot children smiling while playing a game in squalid conditions, it’s plain to see that our internal disposition dictates our experience, not our external circumstance. 

Easily described in theory, difficult in practice.

A single decision to focus on the present is a trap door for failure.

We must build a trend of like decisions to focus on the present.  Every time we catch ourselves lost in thought about the past of the future, we must remember our singular condition of being solely planted in the present.  Other thoughts new and old will arise and wash away our focus, but if we continually build, like a child building sandcastles in the surf, we can achieve a lasting impression.

Vacation, for example is often seen and utilized as a pressure release valve for the monotony of the workweek.  Perhaps we will read a book, but often the desire and goal is to indulge in a languid infinity.  Retirement is likewise seen as the pressure release for most of life, and those who do not plan on retirement being plump with new and different activities often find their physical and mental health on a much quicker path of atrophy.

A vacation would be better spent in thoughtful contemplation about the wider scheme of life.  If the need for the pressure release of vacation is so constant, perhaps this is a comment on our daily workweek, and a break is not needed, but a levelling-up of the work we do.

Such a thoughtful contemplation requires a mindful understanding of what the present moment feels like across many of our like moments.  This requires looking in the rearview mirror at some kind of set of data points of mindful moments during our work week, where we can genuinely ask if our abilities are being used at their cutting edge.  If not, then our priorities need to shift in order to slowly transform the present into a more fulfilling pattern of activities.  Executing a shift of priorities might involve eschewing certain habits and ways of living and clawing at the introduction of others.  Success in both these fields is determined by how well we can walk the tightrope of the present.  We will fail, constantly, perpetually and find ourselves lost in the ruts of old, habitual thinking, but if we spend enough time building  sandcastles in the surf, we may realize that when the tide finally goes out, it is not a time to sit back, order a margarita, and let thoughts melt away into a stupor.  It’s time to put our practice of the present to work and build a castle that cannot be washed away by the next tide.

This episode references a bunch.  Episode 32: Rear-view, Episode 10: Priorities, Episode 88: Tightrope, Episode 125: Rut, and Episode 12: Natural Spring.