A LUCILIUS PARABLE: NO WAIT

August 5th, 2019

The automatic doors parted and Lucilius, using a golf club as a casual cane walked in.  The showroom was immaculate and Lucilius gazed upon the gleaming set of cars.  Lucilius spun the golf club in a wide circle and caught the ground as he took another step and did a loop around each car.  A well-groomed young man approached Lucilius with a smile and asked if there was any way he might help.

“There is,” Lucilius said.  “I want to buy a Tesla.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place.”

“Excellent,” Lucilius said magnanimously. He spun his golf club again and stopped the clock so as to point at one of the cars. “I want that one.  In white.”

“Ok, well, just a few other questions and we can get you on your way,” the Tesla salesman said.

They worked through the few details quickly and to everyone’s delight it turned out they had just what Lucilius wanted available at that moment.  Lucilius was lead out back and finally laid eyes on his dream car.  Lucilius beamed with pleasure.  He swiped a card and instantly the car was his.

The salesman smiled likewise.  “Ok, well I just need to go back inside and print off a few things, get your key and you can be on your way.”

“Excellent,” Lucilius said.

The man walked off and Lucilius slowly circled the car, swinging his golf club in a big circle.  His face was one of victory, not of something now won but about a battle he knew he would thwart from the start.  He stood in front of the car, and just as the salesman was walking back, Lucilius lifted the golf club and smashed it into the hood of the car, making a huge dent.

The salesman gasped, startled.  “What the…  what’s wrong with you?”

Lucilius pondered this question a moment.  “Not too much, and even then, I’d say I’m making progress.”

“But,”  the salesman stumbled over his words.  “Why would you do that?  It’s a beautiful, brand new car.”

Lucilius shrugged.  “Something like it was bound to happen sometime.  I just don’t like to wait around for such things.  Too much worry, and always for no reason.”