RETROSPECT OBSTACLE

June 6th, 2018

When an obstacle appears, we often kick and scream.

Long after the fact, while telling the story, we may sound even grateful for the oabstacle for the efforts it required us to undertake.  A sense of reverence for that ‘life experience’ might even arise as we mythologize our own narrative.

But when a new obstacle appears we fail to remember this transition.

When an obstacle appears, might we look on it with gratitude?  How might this perspective influence our ability to find a solution, make the effort, act thoughtfully and succeed?

Perhaps the better question:  Which is more likely to have a positive influence on our efforts upon an obstacle:  kicking and screaming?

or gratitude

6 HOURS

June 5th, 2018

“We waited for 6 hours in the ferry line, if it hadn’t been for that it would have been a perfect trip.”

I heard someone say this today.  Not once, but several times.

We complain that we do not have enough time to read.

We complain how life throws inconvenient delays our way.

Can one problem be solved with another?

Is it so hard to always carry a book?

Too bad for her.

It could have been. . .

“It was a perfect trip.  We did wait for the ferry for 6 hours, but it was great, I just read the whole time.  Which reminds me.  Oh my god, I have to tell you about this book.”

NOT TOO BAD

June 4th, 2018

We hear this all the time.

My diet is… not too bad.

My body is… not too bad.

My finances are… not too bad.

Orderly apartment?  Not too bad.

Relationships?  Eh.  Not too bad.

This mother-pheasant-plucking, stinking-Balzac, god-forsaken catch-phrase is everywhere.

Of all the aspects of life.  What is the one thing that when questioned about, you’d like the answer to be….

It’s fucking stellar.

Start with that one.  But don’t end there.  Once you have some progress with momentum.  Start making the rounds.

CONFUSION OR CURIOSITY

June 3rd, 2018

Confusion is a delicious word:  Con  +  fusion.

The fusion of two contrary things. 

Yep.  That’s confusing alright.

When do we feel confused?  What are the two contrary things that are suddenly being fused and

prompting such a delightful feeling of vulnerability?

Generally one of the two things is: our understanding of reality.

And the other?

Generally, it’s Reality.

The two come up against one another and our brain starts running around inside our skull with it’s head chopped off.  Ironic that we feel so vulnerable and worried when it happens.  We’re chock full of contradictions.

Is vulnerability and worry the best reaction we can muster? No.

Must we chose between confusion and curiosity?  No.  (That was a red-herring title.)

The better order is not an either/or but a ‘both’:

Confusion, then curiosity.

That’s how we’ll rearrange our understanding of things and fuse it to that other pesky contra:

Reality.

Curiosity is a powerful tool that can lead us from confusion to Eureka.

COOK AND CRITIC

June 2nd, 2018

This episode references Episode 14: Sample All the Kool-Aides.  If you’d like to fully understand the reference, best to check out that episode first.

I recently heard someone say that platforms like YELP and Trip Advisor have put a lot of local professional critics out of business.

Apparently, it’s easy to be a critic.

As the common adage goes: Everyone’s a critic.

It is easy to point out what is wrong. 

And yet everyone wants recommendations. Everyone wants to know what is good.

“What should I do about this problem?”

We give our best advice. The straight-forward advice. We describe the path that seems to make sense.

The response:

“Yea, but…”

It’s always easy to point out what is wrong.

Just because something is easy does not mean that it is correct, helpful or even appropriate.

Even if there is something obviously wrong with the advice, this does not mean that it should not be entertained. We are so quick to dismiss a friend’s ‘actionable-theory’, and yet we forget another common default:

“In theory that sounds good, but in practice....?”

But what if a so-so theory leads to an action in practice that results in something good? Something unexpected and surprising?

We know there is a disconnect between theory and practice. And yet we acknowledge it only when it caters to our lazier selves, when trying out the theory requires action: In theory that sounds good but in practice it will probably fail….so there’s no point in trying. We do the opposite, we ignore the hazy connection between theory and practice when it might require action. The friend’s theory might have flaws, but taking action on it might produce beneficial surprises, because… theory never predicts the results of practice perfectly. We ignore the fact that any action based on any theory (no matter how flawed) leads to more information than doing nothing. This is why it's good to SAMPLE ALL THE KOOL-AIDES. Sampling does not require full, devoted adherence. But it gives us far more information than doing nothing.

How about this: “It sounds like it has some flaws, but I'm going to try it anyway, just to see what happens. Just for shits and giggles.”

Usually we just want to talk, and try to make ourselves feel better via the talking. But the tiny sense of accomplishment that comes with talking things through does not last. It does not change our life. Often it's best to just shut-up and TRY something. . . anything.

Some talk can be productive. But never without succeeding actions based on theories batted around by caring people.

The critic is our easy default.

Refraining from expressing the criticizing thought. Pausing. Asking what actually might help move something forward. What actions might bring more informed answers. What experiments on reality might yield a stronger more detailed map of the world.… This is the better, difficult work.

Being a critic is easy. It’s like getting served a nice big juicy meal that required no effort. All that is required is the experience of devouring and destroying it and broadcasting whatever emotional reaction it “inspires.”

Better to be a cook, or rather: a chef. 

Get in the kitchen, and throw some ingredients together and see what we can create.

It requires action.