WALK AND TALKING

July 5th, 2018

This episode references a few others: Episode 63: The Etymology of Fear, Episode 59: Frequency, Episode 38: Confidence 2.0, and Episode 14: Sample all the Kool-Aides

The common phrase is to walk the talk.  Or do what you say you will.

Even this is difficult, to take action based on things we know and proclaim we believe and hope for.  You think it would be easier.

But let’s take a step back and look at something even harder.

We have all read a book, or heard a concept that felt at once like an illuminating revelation and a comforting confirmation.

Did we take action based on the new idea?  Or did we simply slide our own views closer to the interesting, perhaps well-articulated idea?  No change is necessary if we are simply coming across a finer-tuned confirmation of what we have always known and believed, right?

Let’s take another step back and look at something even harder.

We all come across ideas and concepts that we do not like.  That happens every day and our sensitivity to such things is frankly, ridiculous.  But what about that space between these last two spots on the spectrum?  Somewhere between… coming across an illuminating confirmation and something that provokes a straight-up NO.  Something that teases out a little curiosity but also makes us raise our guard? 

This is that hazy space that defines our boundaries. 

And yet, is it not universally regarded as a good thing when we push our own boundaries?  Is it not universally regarded as growth?  

Does this not imply that we should encourage strong curiosity when it comes to things that raise our guard?

There are three simple steps here:

First is simply doing what we say: Walking the Talk.  That’s perhaps the first box to check off.

The second is pushing our boundaries.  And those are often found by experimenting with views that we aren’t sure we agree with.  And.

Experimenting can only be done through action. We must take action based on views that we are not fully on board with in order to experience the results.

Not talk, not thought, only action, only by walking that talk.  Experimenting with new talk, and walking it.  That’s growth.

The third is the most radical:  To not simply disagree flat-out with others and their concepts, but to develop the right balance of skepticism and Confidence 2.0 that allows you to wholly abandon your own views for a little while and try on a different pair of shoes.  And then take a walk in them. 

This might sound like some nerve-wracking heresy, and in some instances it can be dangerous, and one can easily lose their way in favor of people adept at manipulation.  But it’s also the quickest method for say… learning a language.  Full, unapologetic immersion.  Nothing is going to get you speaking Chinese faster than moving to some part of rural China where English simply doesn’t exist.  To simply function requires a nearly wholesale abandoning of one’s native language.

Let’s dial it back to something less extreme.  Say a common topic of contention.  How would such a conversation go if you had already donned the perspective you disagree with?  And not simply thought and talked about, but acted differently as per the perspective and experienced the results of such.

Consistency, of a certain variety, is far too overrated in today’s day and age.  We must remember what both Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln once said…

The former said “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Or rather the one most willing to change.

And when the celebrated president was accused of political flip-flopping on an issue, he said “I like to think I’m smarter today than I was yesterday.”

Simply put, changing your mind is a sign of health, and potentially a vastly more efficient recipe for success.  It requires flexibility, which is a kind of creativity, and by sampling all the kool-aides, we can pick out the best ingredients, and from the morass, concoct our own secret sauce.

Frankly.  It’s not enough to walk the talk.  That’s where you start.  That’s the foundation.

Where you go is ultimately determined by how carefully you listen.

And then of course,

You have to develop the courage to risk changing. 

COMPOUND

July 4th, 2018

This Episode references Episode 42 Entitled Level-Up.  If you’d like to fully understand the reference, please check out that episode first.

Learning has compound effects.

Knowing addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and the rules of algebra has a compound effect that allows the learning of calculus to be much easier.  At least if it is compared to an attempt to learn calculus with no previous exposure or understanding of any mathematics.

The cumulative effect of these compounding tools allows the brain to LEVEL-UP it’s abilities.

Might the structure of this process be applied to the brain, our well-being, our personality on a larger scale?

How do we institute virtuous cycles of growth within the brain?

What might the results be if we compound a 10% improvement in:

Our fitness,

Our mindfulness,

Our diet,

Might improvement in one area aide improvement in another?

Can improvements in mindfulness help us make better choices with our diet?  Can slowing down and being more thoughtful give us a better chance, a higher probability of making a better, healthier choice?

Can a better diet perhaps give us more energy to bring to the gym and power us through those first tough work-outs?

Can the neurological byproducts of exercise, such as phenethylamine, anandamide, and endorphins, help us have a positive impact on mindfulness exercises?  Most definitely.

Can small improvements in these three areas have, not only a compound effect, but a circular-compounding effect.  Each benefits another in a a circular fashion.

This is a simple example of a virtuous cycle.  Like a spiral staircase, each effort and improvement in one area creates a stronger platform, a higher probability for the next area to go well.

With a few of the right moves, and some consistency, can we send our minds on a new trajectory?  One that spirals upwards?  A trajectory that helps us LEVEL-UP.

ROTTEN CHERRIES

July 3rd, 2018

Context always matters.

Someone can easily be vilified and cast in a bad light if a particular statement they have uttered or written is  -picked and presented as a stand-alone statement.  Without the original context of the statement, a new context arises instantly: a narrower context that can only be inferred by the one statement.  The person who pulls a statement out of context hobbles anyone who reads it – forces blinders through simple ignorance.

Indeed in some sense we are forced to do this with ourselves and our message.  We are invariably limited in what we can say and so we try to be succinct and pack our meaning into denser and denser sentences.  Or we simply think that a listener will intuit all that is left unsaid.   When really what is needed is more conversation, an expansion of context until at last two perspectives can be seen as part of one environment, limiting themselves and each freed with the introduction of that larger context.

It’s a fairly reliable rule that if you aren’t actually up in a tree harvesting one of nature’s delicious sweets, then

Cherry-picking always yields rotten fruit.

INFERNAL PARKING METER

July 2nd, 2018

“In the beginning nothing comes,

in the middle nothing stays,

in the end nothing goes.”

 – Jetsun Milarepa  twelfth-century Tibetan poet and sage

Jetsun’s observation here is directed specifically at meditation, and the gradual process of change that occurs in one’s mind after much practice. 

At first it seems like a colossal waste of time.   Even ridiculous.   

Imagine putting money in a parking meter and nothing happens.  The damn thing seems broken.  Why would you ever put more money into it?  Maybe one more coin, just to make sure it’s broken.  But after that?  It just seems unwise.

So many just simply stop.

This is the case with many of the endeavors we embark on over the course of life.  We pick up a guitar and sound like a cat walking on a piano.  This happens an aggravating number of times.  So we quit.

This is juxtaposed with the mystifying experience of trying something new and having what many might call Beginner’s Luck.  Which is an illusion.   An illusion where many capabilities that have been honed for other reasons are coming together in a novel way.  In essence, when it appears we have a ‘knack’ for something, it is only because we have practiced for it in other ways. 

A long time gymnast, for example, shouldn’t be surprised to find out that they have a knack for say… dancing.

Our instant gratification culture certainly provides an evil fertilizer for the idea that we are either good at something or not.

The truth, like establishing proper context, is more complicated – more nuanced.

When trying something genuinely new, the expectation should be akin to that seemingly broken parking meter. 

But the analogy needs to go further. 

Making headway with any new endeavor is much like feeding the parking meter hundreds of dollars and then finding it finally registers a few minutes.

Or course the parking meter runs out. 

However, feeding it now seems to make it work every time. 

Eventually, with lots of practice, our parking meter becomes more generous, registering much more time for our effort and counting down through the minutes slower and slower.

Such is the case with any new endeavor.  The beginning sucks.  But realizations eventually compound, reinforcing one another, and create a new foundation for a more difficult or advanced level of practice.

Careful though.  As with anything we learn, enough neglect and that parking meter will eventually run out.

If our practice is consistent though, the benefits will never run out.

THE PROPER WAY TO FAIL

July 1st, 2018

This episode references Episode 72: Persevere vs. Pivot.  If you’d like to fully understand the reference, please check out that episode first.

The decision to ‘pivot or persevere’ is perhaps a better way of looking at failure. The word failure, the concept, the event. It has so much negative flack associated with it.

Those who persevere, those with ‘grit’ are often lauded for their tenacity. But what about those who pivot? Who ask the difficult questions that result in a new perspective, and therefore: a new direction?

Perhaps when the given task was undertaken, those basic questions were not asked, such as: What is the reasonable timeframe that this will take? How long did it take others to accomplish this. Factor in Hofstadter’s Law. What are the tradeoffs required for this purpose. And so on and so forth.  Are the potential results of this effort even something that I really want?

We start with the end in mind, often forgetting just how far away that end might be. How much time that gives for other things to get in the way.

But if something is important enough. It’s important not to pivot, especially when the temptation is greatest, that is, right after a particularly stinging failure towards some dreamed-of end. The failure hits us and we look around. To see who might have been watching. To see if there’s a way out. Away. A way.

But if something is important enough. The best way out out, is through.

If something is important enough. The proper way to fail is to reserve the emotion for the next charge, and examine the result like a scientist observing unexpected results. The proper way to fail is to see the result as feedback. You took an action, and the world gave you the result. This is an opportunity to iterate. To fine tune, to exercise that perseverance by making a small pivot.

If it’s important enough, the proper way to fail is to try again by doing something new.

But why is there the need to pivot?  Why did the action, whatever it was, result in the outcome we imagined would happen?

Again, etymology comes in handy hear.

What does failure actually mean?

Failure comes from the latin fallere meaning ‘deceive’.

How does failure come from deception?  Where is the deception when we experience failure?

One useful way of looking at this old root is by comparing our idea of the world before the failure and after the failure.

Before failure, we have a certain idea of the way things are, how reality operates, and what the outcome of our efforts will be.

If we take actions based on this mental map of the world and things don’t pan out the way we imagined, then it’s fair to say that our mental map of the world was inaccurate. 

In some sense, it’s fair to say that we had deceived ourselves into thinking the world was a certain way. 

Failure is merely the realization that we were deceiving ourselves.  And now, with new feedback, we can have a more accurate vision of the world and how it works.  And with this new perspective, we can pivot towards a new action, one more in tune with the revised vision of the world we now have.

In this way, to fail means to lift the self-deception we have.  To fail again and again means to become less and less  self-deceptive.  To pivot again and again with new information.  To fail over and over means to be more honest with one’s self.  To fail is to come face to face with how limited our perspective and understanding of the world really is.  But it also means to broaden that perspective and hone that understanding of the world and how it works.

P.S. It’s good to note Hofstadter’s Law: Everything takes longer than you think it will, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.