COCKY

May 26th, 2018

This episode references episode 38: Confidence 2.0

Just as hope shares one side of an easily flipped coin with expectation,

Confidence shares one side of another coin flipped with equal ease. 

If Confidence 2.0* is the ability to navigate through the world to a hoped-for destination successfully... (based on a mental map that is ever growing, fine-tuning, and becoming more precise and accurate through trial and error..) –

Then cocky is an expectation that one absolutely will arrive at such a destination.

This is not confidence. This is an abandonment of agility, flexibility and curiosity and a desperate grasp for certainty.

It is a coping-mechanism in the face of vast uncertainty.

Cocky is sibling to expectation. Just as Confidence 2.0* is a sibling to Hope.

There exists a subtle divide between these sets of siblings.

FEAR is the motivating factor that turns healthy hope and confidence 2.0* into disappointment-bound expectation and boomeranging-karma cockiness.

The root of the word ‘humble’ is ground.

In a sense, to be humble is to remain grounded.

If there is one certain thing about the future, it’s that it is uncertain.

To remain grounded is to hold this fact squarely in mind.

To do so means facing the inherent fear of that fact squarely in the face.

Not to retreat with a coping mechanism.

Cockiness and expectation are attempts to leap-frog the hard work and land in a safe place. But cockiness usually results in getting knocked down a few pegs. And Expectation incubates impending disappointment.

The safer place is through the hard work:

The hard work is facing a fear of uncertainty, developing an agile, powerful curiosity, and interpreting ‘failure’ with humor through humility. 

It is ridiculous to think we know what is going to happen. 

That being said,

It is not ridiculous to think we can make something happen.

*See the post of July 23^rd entitled Confidence 2.0

A PRISON CELL NAMED COMFORT

May 25th, 2018

What would you do if fear didn’t exist?

What would you do if pain wasn’t a thing?

Those with chronic pain get used to it. Those with courage feel fear but simply respond to it differently.

If we can get used to pain, and we can change our reaction to fear: Might we do those things we dream of if fear did not hold us back, if pain wasn’t an issue?

It works the other way. 

Those who have it easy get used to it: and then everything becomes difficult. Those who have nothing to fear begin to fear everything.

Luxury becomes just as much a prison.

How free can we become by opening ourselves up to just a little more pain, pushing the boundary of that fear just a little further?

THE RESOURCES

May 24th, 2018

The perfect conditions will never arise.

The ideal plan will never form. 

The resources are limited. 

We must do what we can with what resources we have.

We must edit the plan as we go, as per the resources we have.

The only condition is now, and that condition only changes as we edit the plan by taking action with the resources we have.

Don’t wait for the perfect condition. Create it.

Don’t tinker the plan too much. Just start it.

Don’t make excuses because the resources aren’t available. 

We already have the two most valuable resources:

A brain + time.

These two resources are responsible for all the conditions of others you might admire, all the imperfect plans that got someone somewhere, for all other resources, period. Indeed they are the only two true resources. 

Because,

A resource without a brain to figure out what to do with it, is, useless. 

To be resourceful, is indeed, the ability to see resources where others see nothing and to see obvious resources in new ways.

The greatest attribute of the first resource, our brain: it can change it's self and become MORE resourceful. A resource that can edit it's own resourcefulness.

Time to MacGuyver your brain.

CONFIDENCE 2.0

May 23rd, 2018

How is that magical, coveted, confidence that some people seem to have, captured... and held?

For most it’s like Pan’s shadow, constantly running away, never staying stitched to our soles. 

Confidence is just a word though. It means many things depending on who you ask. It certainly doesn’t mean the same thing to someone who has confidence compared to someone who doesn’thave confidence.

Many pieces of psychology are involved, and because of this, ignored. All are lumped into the single word. And in doing so, it becomes mysterious. 

Some unpacking might be useful. 

A related idea, potentially a subcategory of confidence that is much spoken of is ‘Positive Mental Attitude.”

This is a good starting point. Not just for understanding confidence, but for anything. But it is just a starting point. It will not carry you to the stars. 

Positive Mental Attitude is like the beta version of confidence.

It does not last on it’s own. It can become depleted and destroyed when faced with enough failure that has not been interpreted properly. A fuller form of confidence would carry us through these failures. This is why PMA is beta-confidence. It’s the precursor. First gear. The spark that gets the engine going. It provides the motivation to take the first step - the first action.

This enthusiasm has a dangerous edge. PMA creates optimism, and optimism creates hope. And

Hope is one side of a dangerous coin that is easy to flip. The other side is expectation.

Expectation only leads to disappointment. And disappointment is disastrous for a positive mental attitude. This is how it can be depleted and destroyed.

The essential ingredient for moving from failure to re-action is the ability to properly interpret failure.

How? Seeing failure - not as some huge demoralizing experience – but merely as feedback from reality. This allows us to take it less personally. This removes the fog of emotion. We can then see clearly and learn. 

We can move much more fluidly from one ‘failure’ to the next action. The next attempt. The next poke at reality. . .if the emotional investment is consistently downregulated.

Take enough of these actions and our picture of reality becomes stronger, more accurate. More precise. 

Which would you trust more:

A map of Boston drawn by a two-year old.

or.

A map of Boston found at the entrance to a subway station in Boston. 

Why the difference? One is more accurate. More precise. Because. The creator gathered more information. We can have confidence in the second map of Boston because we can trust it.

We can take actions based on it’s accuracy that will lead to the destinations we hope for.

This destination is an exact analog for the endeavors we hope to achieve, the goals we hope to arrive at.

If we do the difficult work of improving our own mental map of the world, gathering more information through action, through trial and error, and slowly making our map more precise, more accurate.. then we can have more confidence in that map. Confidence is trust. And if our map is strong, then 

we can have confidence in ourselves.

Confidence 2.0 is built slowly and methodically with information gathered through action.

Do you trust yourself?

How accurate is your mental map of the world?

THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE ALWAYS WRITTEN AFTERWARDS

May 22nd, 2018

Doesn’t matter what it is, there once was the first person to do it. That person didn’t have the instructions.

They figured it out as they went.

The instructions were written afterwards.

And then everyone else learns in the wrong order: We are given instructions and then take action.

This pattern does not teach us how to discover, how to invent, how to progress. This process only perpetuates what has already been discovered and invented. It holds us at the current point of progress. Allowing us no further.

To move forward, we must operate backwards:

Take action. Figure it out.

Then write the instructions.

CAUTION:

Do not confuse plans with instructions.

Plans come before action. Instructions come after action.

Instructions are sure-fire ways to do something. 

Plans are educated guesses. 

Plans should be tentative, flexible and mutable... if they are going to be of any use.