TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT, MANY DO

May 12th, 2018

How many times have you been wrong?

During your whole life. And not just the obvious basics like the answer to that third calculus problem on the final in High school. How many times have you been wrong regarding anything?

Placing that left foot the first time you tried to walk? Fumbling the sound when you tried to say ‘Mom’ for the first time. (or the 1,000^th time) The pronunciation of the word “whale” when you first tried to read it. . .

Is a big reason that little kids are cute because of how they fail? Without shame. Without embarrassment. With total willingness. How cute. Complete abandon, completely relaxed. . . No fucks given.

Do we laugh and smile because they are cute?

Or do we laugh and smile out of embarrassment for ourselves? That we have lost that ability? To experiment shamelessly. To try and understand the world without guilt, without embarrassment?

How much could be learned from what has been forgotten?

So often we should bolster more confidence when we feel fear. So often we should assume humility when we feel confidence.

What can we learn from kids?

This: You’re not going to get it right. Not until you’ve done it wrong many –probably, many, many times.

So go ahead. Make a mistake.

It just might turn out to be the right thing to do.

It’ll be cute.

ME-TIME

May 11th, 2018

Compare:

The café goer, just settling in, holding a nice hot cup of coffee still steaming, laptop just getting propped open, or book thumbed open to a page, or just watching people come and go. Smiling.

The barista. In the same place. Steaming some milk that will definitely take a good 25-30 seconds, stressing about all the other orders that need to be made after. Aggravated that nothing else can be done during that 25-30 seconds, except holding the stupid froth tin.

They are in the same place. Strange how a place of leisure can be so stressful.

During that short time, nothing can be done about the impending orders. So why think about them? In that moment, the barista is just a person, in a nice coffee shop, holding a hot cup.

It’s a missed opportunity for me-time.

We cannot control the slings and arrows that come our way. 

We can control how we look at them. 

We can control how they affect us.

This morning as I waited for my coffee in a busy café, I noticed all the stressed workers, taking orders, running food, taking cash, scurrying from ingredient to ingredient. Wide-eyes and taut voices. 

And then.

A barista, steaming some milk. Quietly smiling to herself. 

Perhaps she was thinking about a great date she’d had the night before.

Perhaps she’d just reached a goal. 

Perhaps an old friend had just reached out to tell her how much she was missed.

Or.

Maybe. Unlike her co-workers,

She was enjoying the simple fact that she is in control of how the things around her affect her. And at it’s most basic: she was just enjoying some time, in a nice café, holding a hot steaming cup. Smiling.

PREACHER VS. TEACHER VS. PARTY-MAKER

May 10th, 2018

A preacher talks at you with good intention and the hope that you will change for the better.

A teacher gives you the reasons and methodology as to why and how you should change.

A party-maker lives the change, makes others envious of the fun, and they join on their own.

(FOMO can be used for good.)

Which is best when you wish to see a loved one make a change in their life?  The Preacher? The Teacher?

or

the Party-Maker?

HOPE GROWS FOOLISH WITH NO DOING

May 9th, 2018

It’s one thing to think about it. Talk about it. Debate about it.

But without action.

You get no real feedback.

Feedback that will tell you what’s wrong with your thinking, talking, debating. 

Taking action is like poking reality.

You’ll get a reaction. (Even no reaction is an important kind of feedback.)

Reality will poke back.

If you’re quiet, and push aside all those bungling emotions for a moment. You might just see what reality is telling you. How the thinking can be tweaked. How one side of the debate maybe had a better point.

Maybe it’ll help you waste less time with all that thinking, talking & wondering, by showing you:

It wasn’t something worth hoping for in the first place.

Or maybe that hope will start taking shape as something real.

Either way.

You’ll save time by cutting out all that extra thinking, talking, hashing-it-out, etc. that would have kept going on endlessly…

had you not acted.

PAUSE

May 8th, 2018

What did you do that last time someone offered a suggestion?

Did you respond immediately?

Or did you pause.

Did you consider?

Did you think.

Or

Did you simply feel. Express that. And then move on to what you were waiting to say.

The ability to pause is like a muscle in the brain. It requires training and vigilant exercise: constant use.

It’s the block of marble that is continuously growing back to the dull boring shape of a block. A masterpiece cannot be chiseled out once and expected to keep forever. It must be continuously chiseled.

A big task.

But once the hard work of moving most of the unneeded stone is done. Every day is just a small bit here and there, like sanding away the fat. Maybe after a lazy week the chisel needs to be used.

This is the ever-giving benefit of good habits.

Once they are formed?

They have their own momentum.

Friends and family might be out of touch with who you are and what you want to become, and therefore unable to give good advice. But anyone who truly listens and cares will have something useful to say.

Next time it happens. Will you have your chisel ready?

Will you pause?

It could spur a habit that changes your life.

Even if the advice is bad.